May the Force be with you, Artemis
by Gray Jedi 4000
Summary: A strange substitute psychologist is filling in for Dr. Po. Who is Dr. Windu, and why does he seem to be able to read Artemis Fowl's mind?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Gray Jedi 4000 here. Okay, this has been running around my head for a while, and I decided to start writing it. So, yea. Here it is. I don't own Artemis Fowl or Star Wars, and there may be OOC moments. It's set between Arctic Incident and Eternity Code.**

Artemis walked into the psychologist's room. Surprisingly, Dr. Po was not there. Instead, there was a tall, African American by the looks of him, man seated in Dr. Po's chair. He was bald and had an expression that would have made Artemis fear him if he wasn't so smart. There was a coldness in the man's eyes. The coldness of a murderer.

"Hello, Artemis. I am Dr. Windu, your new psychologist."

"What, may I ask, brought on this development?"

"I heard Dr. Po needed a little bit of help, and, frankly, I am quite interested in you, Artemis Fowl the Second. Perhaps a more in-depth introduction is in order."

"I am Artemis Fowl the Second, genius."

"I am Dr. Mace Windu, criminal psychologist and expert on getting answers out of anyone."

Ah, a challenge. But this would be over soon.

"So, Dr. Windu, shall we begin?"

"Yes. What is your take on the problem?"

Artemis was (slightly) surprised. Psychologists usually never asked your opinion, just facts. The child genius, despite himself, decided to be straight with him. Later, he would wonder why he had decided that.

"With all due respect, my mind cannot be dissected. I do not know why my mother insists on sending me to these ridiculous appointments."

Dr. Windu fixed him with a cold smile, not unlike Artemis' own. "Oh, your mind can be dissected. No-one else has had the tools yet to do it." The words sent a chill down Artemis' spine. "Now, what I want you to do is to lay back and close your eyes and say the first word that comes to mind."

Artemis scoffed. "That is ridiculous. I do not have the time to waste."

"You will do as I say, Artemis Fowl." The coldness had crept back into Dr. Windu's voice, sending a shiver down Artemis' spine. That primal part of Artemis' mind shivered and tried to make Artemis shrink away. He would not let it.

The boy genius laid back and closed his eyes. "I hope this will not take long. I have important matters to attend to."

"Let us begin. Force."

"Stress."

Dr. Windu paused for a minute, and Artemis had the distinct feeling that the psychologist was probing him somehow. Which was ridiculous.

"Holly."

Artemis was caught. He almost said "Short," but stopped himself in time. Instead he said "Ilex aquifolium." (AN: that's the scientific name for holly.)

"You're lying."

"Hmm?" Artemis acted indifferent, but on the inside he was tense. Very tense.

"You were going to say Short."

"Was I?" The boy genius' mask was still in place, though it now had a lot more to hide.

"Do not play games with me, Fowl. I know of the fairy race. I know of your involvement with both the seemingly quite profitable kidnapping of LEPrecon officer Holly Short and your involvement with stopping the Bwa'Kell uprising."

 _This has become a lot more serious._ Artemis needed to know how he knew. And he seemed to know Artemis' every move. There was only one way. Slowly, ever so slowly, he mentally reached out and touched Dr. Windu's mind with his own. He sensed nothing. Shielding. But every shie-

"Ah. I see you have harnessed your sensitivity. Somewhat."

 _Sensitivity? He knows!_ This was getting more dangerous by the second. _Wait. Sensitivity to what?_

This time, he could quite literally hear Dr. Windu's thoughts projected to his own head. _Sensitivity to the Force._


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright! Updating party! I've decided to start updating everything, so you may have a bunch of new chapters on your hands soon. Or just before this is released. Or this is one of them. I don't know.**

 **Disclaimer: Not even 18 yet. Guys, I can't own an entire movie or book saga.**

Artemis woke up tied to a chair.

"Alright, boy genius, start talking." The speaker was obviously extremely tall, even with the hunched position. He had icy blue eyes aimed glaringly at Artemis' own, tanned skin, and dark blond hair. He was a man who had obviously spent a lot of time in the sun. And he looked _murderous._

Of course, Artemis had dealt with many murderers, even at the tender age of thirteen. "About what, exactly? I am prepared to tell you my information...for a price." He put on his best vampire smile.

"Nice try. But you'll be the one who's paying if you don't tell me what I want. First thing's first. When-wait a second, these aren't torture questions! MACE! GET IN HERE!"

"Yes, Skywalker?" The African American from St. Bartlebly's stood in the doorway. Artemis didn't have to see beyond the outline. He could feel his malicious presence.

"Don't you know _anything_ about interrogation?"

"And what should I know?"

"Um, that you don't torture people to find the answers to questions like, 'When did you first feel the Force?'"

"He is a criminal. We cannot be too careful."

Skywalker leaned over and whispered so that only Artemis could hear. "Or too stupid." Artemis got the feeling that Skywalker didn't much like Windu. "Look, I know you're on the Council and everything, but...this is incredibly ridiculous. He probably doesn't even know the terms we use. And why do these questions even _matter?_ "

"You will not question the Council's decision."

Artemis, beginning to like Skywalker (though his assumption about not knowing their terminology was ridiculous, as he had managed to look through Mace Windu's memories), and thinking Windu's argument preposterous, said, "Are you sure? Even groups of people can be corrupt, and if they do not want to be questioned, why do you trust them? What is their reasoning?"

The tall bald man's head snapped to Artemis. "What do _you_ know of the Force and its connection to the Jedi Council?"

The youth smiled. "More than you know."

Mace did the unexpected. "Fine then. I will leave. Skywalker, bring me the answers when you two are done." The door slammed shut.

"The questions?"

Anakin rolled his eyes. "I think you'd better look through them yourself. They're too idiotic for me to say aloud."

Artemis raised an eyebrow mentally, but as he looked through the questions, he began to sympathize with Skywalker once again.

"It seems that these questions are not only idiotic, but unanswerable. All of these are gradual, and it is impossible to truly know, unless you are the Force itself."

Anakin nodded. "One question. Not unanswerable or idiotic." He paused. "I hope."

"Yes?"

"How did you know our language?"

"Mace Windu does not guard his memories well."


End file.
